Storm at Balmoral

Saturday sushi and storm.

SLSA

Many years ago I volunteered as a surf lifesaver and did patrol at Tamaramma, North Bondi and Freshwater beaches for a few years. Any way - I saw this add recently - made me a little nostalgic. If you don't know CPR please make an effort to go learn.

The only inaccuracy in this vid is the lack of vomit.
They always vomit.

Fi fi foe fum

_{(image shamelessly pinched from The Sun)}

That most erudite of English publications, The Sun, ran a campaign after the last Olympics celebrating their victory over us in the medal tally by driving billboards around London and Sydney with the respective gold medal counts.

Shall we take a look at the results after the recent Commonwealth Games in India..
Oh look - 74 to 37. So. to the English: Stick that up your bum.
And it's not a fluke, shall we take a look at the over all tally since the inaugural Commonwealth Games?
Oh look - 803 to 612.
You Pommies best be careful come Manchester - oh, and you probably need to bolster your numbers by competing with Scotland, Ireland and Wales.

Beating the Poms is almost as enjoyable as beating the Kiwis.

Alternate National Anthem

To the drunk bloke with the half finished tats laying on the grass outside the pool this morning - The lyrics are thus:

Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous
She took me in and gave me breakfast
And she said,

"Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."

Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich
And he said,

"I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."

Lying in a den in Bombay
With a slack jaw, and not much to say
I said to the man, "Are you trying to tempt me
Because I come from the land of plenty?"
And he said,

"Oh! Do you come from a land down under? (oh yeah yeah)
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."

HIp hOp

Never liked it. Rap distilled everything I hate in music into a polished easily avoided product. I'm sure in the vein of Spear Head there is a great tradition of intelligent, thoughtful, clever, lyrical rap and beats in the States but American rap and hip hop's stupendous ego and self promotion, gun worship, focus on money, cars and sexism shrink wraps it all into one putrid pile of shit.

But I'm now slowly coming around - Over the last few years I've been discovering Australian hip hop. It's not a facsimile of the American product. It has grown up and now has roots firmly planted in Australian culture and unashamedly, unselfconsciously reflects and comments on the Australian social and political landscape. Tunes you can really listen to and bop along with. Tunes and lyrics that are so Australian I don't think non Aussies could appreciate just how local and relevant they are. Australian hip hop has something to say. Rap has always found fertile ground in personal self reflection and Aussies have never feared talking about their failure (Matty B, I'm looking at you), and personal pain, Bias B missing his mum brings me to tears. When he's not taking the piss fist fucking freedom that is.

Loving The Heard, whether it's wrapping political lyrics around a traditional Australian shanty, the soft target of AWB and Australia's involvement in the Middle East or shaking up the cunts and dancing on the pricks head - contemporary lyrics with a truly Australian cant - "got your arse played in mandarin" aha ha ha, sorry Johney. They do a tops recut of Redgum's classic (<- XL Mate, that's for you). Urthboy, the MC for The Heard has a bunch of good tunes but I particularly like this one taking the piss out'a the local evangelicals

According to voting on various JJJ (the yuff station) hit lists the Hilltop Hoods have the most popular AHH tune.

I love how much Aussie hip hop is about having a few (too many) with your mates:
Dialectrix - Pieces Of A Puzzle, Bliss N Eso - Down by the River the reddest red neck local tune I know of, Matty B - Aussie Weekender, Funkoars - The Hangover are all good tunes.
The Brits aren't half bad at over consumption either.

How about this anthem to low rent living: My whole life needs a coat of paint., and I laugh at the cow bell hidden away in Nothing To Lose.

AHH is heaps good

I just hope the cunts don't put their caps on backwards or I'm going back to Flame Trees.

p.s. If you've got issues with posts full of youtube clips you can get fucked.