Friday, February 03, 2006

The Judgment of Paris

I'm probably falling fowl (more on water birds later) of copyright but they put a new picture up on my wall yesterday. A surrealist impression by James Gleason; “The Judgment of Paris”.

Reminds me of Geiger
Basically a bitch of a goddess, Eris tricks three other narcissistic goddesses into squabbling over whom is the fairest. Girls never change. Not nearly brave or stupid enough to get involved Zeus appoints the mortal, Paris (think Orlando Bloom) to make the call. In a mythological version of a wet t-shirt completion all three chicks strip so Paris can have a perve and in the best tradition of the Australian Wheat Board, each attempts to bribe him. Now whilst the others bribed him with power wealth and kingships, Aphrodite offered the love of Helen – the most beautiful woman in the world. Paris was up for this, and in a shameless Disney rip off gives the fairest of them all an apple. Snow White would have been proud. This of course, as we all know eventually led to the long and tragic Trojan War where Brad Pit kills Eric Bana. Now why he thought Helen was the cutest is beyond me. In what is probably one of the first cases of bestiality her mother had sex with a swan and laid an egg from which hatched Helen. The woman whose beauty launched a thousand ships probably had duck feet and feathers.
The whole story is here

No classic painter could pass up the opportunity to paint three naked chicks, some though it so good they did it more than once.
Renoir did it (twice)

Rubens did it (twice)

And Lucas Cranach who is a complete unknown with no sense of depth, did it (4 times)

I have to say, Gleasons is showing the girls in their true form.

Images from Here, Here and Here

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Where do you find the time to think about this stuff??? Hi from Joy, Dan, Elle and Lauren - see Deve, we do look at your blog