Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Taking a deep breath

PC290143

OK, so, how to begin???
Had a shit of a Christmas but it was awesome... I think that just about covers it.
The kids had a great time - spent a week with mum and dad just down the south coast at Tuross in their amazing house on the lake. We then drove about 40 kays up the coast to the Family's beach house at Rosedale. Both amazing, breathtaking places on unspoiled beaches. We spent so much time in the water that despite my preference for neck to knee bathers, surf hats and sunnies I'm now supporting a fairly striking wetsuit tan.

Way sexy

I spent as much time with dad as I could and I'm going back down to see him again in a fortnight if he lasts that long. I was with him with the doctor when he outlined his prognosis. It was a brutal moment. In a half dozen careful compassionate professional words a life was ended. Treatment from here is to keep up the chemo to stop things running away but with his marrow now all but gone he's living on borrowed time - quite literally as he's getting by transfusion to transfusion. After each one he's got the energy to go for walks, go to trivia, bowls etc then after a few days he gets tired until the next transfusion. We're holding out for the miracle, for the door to open that tiny crack...

... more later

21 comments:

xl said...

Your dad's condition is more advanced than I had thought. I hope he is being made as comfortable as possible.

[hug]


PS: I was under the impression that you were now using a big gun board.

Fusion said...

In a half dozen careful compassionate professional words a life was ended.
I've heard those words myself, they leave one numb...

I echo XL and hope you get a little more time with him.

unique_stephen said...

XL > Thanks mate, and thanks especially for the tune. My other boards are:

- My first board: a 5'9" with lots of float and a kick in the nose with a tight, almost pin tailed rear and a kevlar stringer.

- My 6' flat bottomed fish, good for summer chop - on permanent loan - I just can't remember who too

- My 6'10" slightly thinner than average with a slightly exaggerated rocker that flows into a straighter mid-section and a slightly concave base - this is my 'performance' board (read: unstable and diabolically twitchy)

The new board is a 7'7" epoxy mini-mal will a full core and very flat rocker with boxy rails means it responds like a geriatric and turns like an old Volvo ... "WHAT? YOU WANT TO TURN HERE??" but is heaps easier to get onto a smaller wave. Good down the line speed and length means I can piss off the groms by catching everything the new school boards make them flail to get

unique_stephen said...

Fusion > Thanks. The words "Not a good disease to have" will stay with me forever.

Kitty said...

you are a loving, caring son and a good person. it fucking sucks that this is happening to your dad, and the rest of your family.

xoxo

Spiky Zora Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spiky Zora Jones said...

steven: I'm sorry about your dad honey. I know what you and your faamily is going through...believe me I do.

I want to hug you and tell you it's ll going to be all right...and that it would.

my thoughts and best energy goes out to him, you and family.

That's fab pic of you.

I don't swim in the ocean...I'm afraid of sharks. Flying over the California coast line is why.

xxx

Lana Banana said...

my dad died when i was 10. he was killed by a drunk driver. here one day, gone the next. the last time i saw him was as he said goodbye to me as i went to school. that was october 4th, 1988.

i know it's not polite to make comparisons and, to boot, this probably doesn't sound comforting, but you've been fortunate. you've both been fortunate. you've had time together . . .

oh, what would i have done for more time with my own father . . .

warm, warm, warm thoughts out your way.

phishez said...

Thinking of you guys.

EmmaK said...

Sorry that you are going through this with your dad though won't way I know how you feel cos I've never been through something like that x0

Elisabeth said...

I'm new to your blog, Stephen. I seem to have come here via a new tributary of Australian blogs I have just started to follow. There's something about the idiom and the voice of Australian that I love.

甜心 said...

美麗的事物是永恆的快樂,它的可愛日有增加,不會消逝而去........................................

unique_stephen said...

Kitty > thanks for the hug

SZJ > Again, thanks, oh and take care swimming here: there are strange things about that will eat a girl out in our oceans.

Lana > I know that in ten years thre will be things I wish I had said or asked him during this time, but for now my mind is blank. It is simply enough to be with him in the mutual knowledge that this time is finite. Bizarrely it is oh so normal.

Phishez > Thanks chick. We really must catch up in person soon.

EmmaK > Children watching their once hero parents dying makes them heros all over again. I can only hope that I approach my final days with the strength and fortitude that my dad is showing

Elisabeth > G'day. These are probably not the best days to read me for the first time but please feel welcome all the same. I endeavor to write the way I speak. Putting my accent in words as much as I can. I've not read more than a smidgen of your blog but I think we will get along. I totally get where you are coming from when you talk about your "many different selves".

甜心 > Don't you feel like a cock now

xl said...

"in ten years thre will be things I wish I had said or asked him during this time"

If he served in the military, ask him specifically about his service. i.e. what his job was, where he went, what he did, etc.

Memphis Steve said...

Good Lord, I can tell you have great abs even with the wetsuit. I envy the hell out of that.

I'm very sorry about your father, mate. My wife's grandmother went like that. Although I will tell you that she was a stubborn woman and lived a full year that way, refusing to change a single thing about her life right up to the end. She went on her own terms.

My father died about 2 years ago. It was unexpected. I had been meaning to sit down with him and a recorder of some sort so I could ask him to retell the stories he'd told me so many times over the years, about his past. I never got the chance. It was strange after he'd gone. There were things I only ever talked with him about. I hadn't realized it until we couldn't talk anymore. There were still questions I had, advice that I mostly didn't really need, but was accustomed to being able to ask his opinion on. I still see him every now and then when I dream at night. Everyone has their thoughts on that. I don't know what to make of it, but it's always good to see him again, whatever the explanation.

Memphis Steve said...

I stand corrected. It was more like 2 or 3 years that she lived, and quite well, actually.

Ms Smack said...

Thinking of you all.

Jen said...

xxxx

fingers said...

Sorry mate, I keep forgetting you're back.
Just checked in and got swamped by that awful news; I hope there's a miracle in the works.
In the meantime make sure you leave nothing unsaid with your Dad.
Long life, mate...

Ms Smack said...

Hey Steve, just checking in. Wondering how you guys are going.

I'm chained to a planning day tomorrow, but when we break i'll drop you an email from work.

xx
Cath

unique_stephen said...

Thanks all so much for your thoughts.
Just got off the phone with dad and he's got some god news. No miraculous cure but his blood results have got better over the last week not worse, which means the meds are making a difference - better enough that he won't need a transfusion this week - the first time in a few. Looks like he may be able to stretch things out a bit.
When your down to your last few weeks thats a lifetime.