Tuesday, September 16, 2008

She loves me She loves me not

So, this Russian chick keeps sending me love emails. But she must really love me because she keeps changing her name for me. I've got the same email from the same girl three times today already.



Hello!

It is my first letter on English. Sorry, if I made some mistake in words. But I write you from my hand and don't use pre-written letters.

I am very glad, that you have become interested in me. And I shall try, that you were not disappointed with me and have learned as much as possible about me.

But I would like to learn you better too. I will ask you, write to me more about you in details.

My name Ekaterina. I live in Ukraine, in city Odessa. I am 28 years old.

If you think, that I am not serious don't make mistake, and know me much more. I gave promise, that I will never married on Russia boy.

All of them lie and don't hold his word. Some man drink alcohol very much. May be I will tell you more about my past relation later.

But i don't like think about it, it was no good.

My family are not large. We live with my mother. My mother have good work as bookkeeper. We can pay for all life expenses.

And I will not ask you help me with money. I know many stories about it. If you will write to me more, you will understand, that I am not such girl!

I want write to you long letter with much ideas from me, but I think, It will not good for the first letter. I am simple Ukraine girl, who want to live abroad.

I want have husband and right family. I will try for this very much. I have very serious intention.

My girlfriend find her husband on internet in last year. She move to Australia and they have happy family.

She lives in Sydney and they will have child soon. She write to me letter every week.

I was glad for it very much. We want to meet some time soon. I have great opportunity move to Australia at the end of this year.

Don't want write about me and my hobby in first letter.

We can talk on the phone, if you will want it. I don't have own phone, but I can use one from my friend or I can use call servise on post.

I will glad, if we can chat on MSN. I stay there at the evening and we can talk about all.

Please, send to me your phone number or MSN name, if you want contact with me from other way.

If You really interested in me, you can ask me about all.

I want ask you some question:

Do you have children? What are you doing at work? Did you have past relation, wife?

I hope, you can know some new things about me from this letter.

You can write to me on my e-mail: suhorukekaterina@gmail.com

I will wait your letter and hope to receive news from you shortly.

Good luck to us.

Suhorukova Ekaterina.

------

Sorry Ekaterina - I already have enough Russian women in my Harem but if any of you out there want woman from Odessa please, guest be mine

26 comments:

Lana Banana said...

damn it!

why the fuck aren't russian men throwing themselves at ME?

is it my foul mouth?

my big feet?

the warts on my face?

the felony arrest record?

what?

hey, stephen, ask ekaterina if she has a brother, will ya?

he/they(?) can write to me at:areyoutotallyfuckingkiddingmewiththatbullshit@gmail.com.

you're the best!

xoxo,

suhorukova lana

Bo Bo said...

Hands off meat axe, I’ve already sent money, a goat and three magic beans for Ekaterina and already gave my bank account details to her six other twins.

unique_stephen said...

I have written to her:

Suhorukova - я хочу сделать младенцев с вашим задним проходом. Избегите BoBo, он не знает, которым конец девочки является который.

Fusion said...

Hope Bobo doesn't know how to translate russian there Steve ;)

Funny thing is though, I think this same girl wants to have american babies by me as well. Don't know why though, she'd be better off in Oz IMHO...

Hijacker said...

I get the same thing... any idea where they got our emails?

Eostre said...

I wouldn't want to marry on Russia boy either, keeping my balance would be a bitch. Also, Russia boy is such a stupid superhero name. What's his superpower, suppressing freedom of the press?

bunny said...

We've been getting them at work too

They help break up the day a bit.

LauraDanielleDotN said...

Haha, that's where my family is from, Odessa. Maybe I should start writing letters like this, looking for life partners. Maybe it's in my DNA...and where do I get a dress like that?

Memphis Steve said...

Dammit, why aren't I getting any of these emails? All I ever get is hundreds of millions of dollars transferred into my bank account from the son of a Nigerian king who was murdered. This is so unfair.

I can feel the money leaping out of my wallet for this girl. Luckily, it's all Nigerian money so it doesn't even belong to me anyway.

Em said...

Haha... wow... how clever.

unique_stephen said...

Fusion, Hijacker, Bunny > you mean she's cheating on me? The nerve of the bitch. That's it, it's over. Stick that in your ovary you cheating commie gold digger. Go drink mushroom tea by yourself in your poxy Odessa apartment.

Eostre > I bet RB superhero can do that silly dance thing too.

Laura > It is a nice dress - When I look at it I feel like forgiving her already. Perhaps it's not forgiveness I feel but it sure is a nice feeling - would put Pfizer out of business.

Steve > Yeah, those bloody Nigerians. A college reckons they are ruining it for all the legitimate African princes that really do want to get out of Africa. Heart of gold that guy for his concern for this forgotten niche of African society so desperately in need of help.

Em > You need a nanny?

unique_stephen said...

I'll ask her if she showers

fingers said...

Mate, don't knock Russian chicks; they are a hoot.
I had one last year for a while. Smart, financially secure, drop-dead gorgeous...
And because she'd only ever dated Russian men before, I seemed like Julio Fucking Inglesias by comparison since I at least put my cigarette down while we were having sex...

xl said...

You get better junk mail than I do.

Bo Bo said...

Suhorukova-Не слушайте Стефана, он хочет ебать ваших ослов, поскольку она напоминает ему о всех мужчин, он спал с. Он просто хочет, чтобы вы за свои больные фантазии. Где я BoBo будут пошел на хуй в cunt до вы обрез

unique_stephen said...

Fingers > But the problem with Russian young women is they the turn into old Russian women.

XL > I'll share it, don't worry.

Bo Bo > She hasn't replied yet. I've forwarded your note.
- Donkey my ass

sparsely kate said...

Oh no fair! I only get Kenyans in my inbox.

Anonymous said...

hee hee hee...
this is so good!!! I am form Central Europe and found that e-mail on my boyfriend's inbox... I was so pi***ed, but now... he he he.. amused :)

It means she sends txts just to Oz :)

fingers said...

Yeah those Kenyans will get into anything if you're not careful.
How many can you get into yours ??
Should be quite a few; they're only skinny fuckers...

unique_stephen said...

Kate > I feel for your inbox - those Kenyans have staying power.

Olga > Just like a chick. Better get out of you bestial boyfriends inbox and back to making that cabbage bigos.

Fingers > I'll let Guinness know Kate's going for a new record.

Molly said...

I'm feeling rather left out for I haven't received one of these. Now I want one!

I think you have broken her heart with your rejection.

Will said...

Hmmm I think I work with her girlfriend.

You know you shouldn't be posting your email address on those forums, don't you? That's why hotmail was invented.

And what's with that wallpaper? I realise most of you guys can't see it but it's rather odd.

QuizzyLizzy said...

Ekaterina is obviously bisexual as she has written to me too. :)

sparsely kate said...

Hilarious fingers!! I'll have you know my inbox is quite small after all that reconstructive surgery...

unique_stephen said...

Molly > I think Freud had somethign to say about that kind of envy.

Will > I thought it was a high energy physics forum.... :-(

Quizzylizzy > you, me, my wife and her... what do you say?

Sparsely Kate > One stitch too many - no more hide-a-hand in the knuckle bunker for you Missy.

Anonymous said...

why do they do this? sure they are beautiful women but they are going about it the wrong way. what a pity.geoff.