Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Eccentrica Gallumbits

Doing a totally unrelated search I came across a page from Christian Analysis of American Culture (CAP Ministry) which seeks to protect our eternal selves from damnation by rating movies from a christian perspective.., in this case the movie version of Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers Guide. Why not, I mean any tranche of society which upholds the murder of the Canaanite king with a tent peg through the head as fitting (Judges 4:17-24), takes it's moral code from Deuteronomy "Put the entire town to the torch as a burnt offering to the LORD your God." (Dut 13 11-ish) and casually teaches its kids that it was just of God to kill all the children of Egypt should have a rather interesting take on what is acceptable family viewing.

Follow the link, now scroll down

On the right of the page is a little histogram showing how the film rates and below that is some examples of the films imorality: I note their first complaint is the destruction of the world.... Why is this a problem - Don;t Christians universally pray for the second coming - the rapture. Have they not actually read revelations?

The next few points focus on other acts of violence, WTF!?!?!, here's the results of a 30 second exploration of an online bible:

"I will sweep away everything in all your land," says the LORD. "I will sweep away both people and animals alike. Even the birds of the air and the fish in the sea will die. I will reduce the wicked to heaps of rubble, along with the rest of humanity," says the LORD. "I will crush Judah and Jerusalem with my fist and destroy every last trace of their Baal worship. I will put an end to all the idolatrous priests, so that even the memory of them will disappear. For they go up to their roofs and bow to the sun, moon, and stars. They claim to follow the LORD, but then they worship Molech, too. So now I will destroy them! And I will destroy those who used to worship me but now no longer do. They no longer ask for the LORD's guidance or seek my blessings." (Zephaniah 1:2-6 NLT)

At his command the oceans and rivers dry up, the lush pastures of Bashan and Carmel fade, and the green forests of Lebanon wilt. In his presence the mountains quake, and the hills melt away; the earth trembles, and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before his fierce anger? Who can survive his burning fury?(Nahum 1:2-8 NLT)

Clearly no earth destroying violence there.

CAP Ministry score a ZERO - see me after class for not paying attention on 'Immorality' - They take issue with a woman in a towel but I see no mention of Eccentrica Gallumbits the the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six. Were they too busy enjoying the buy two get one free deal???

Anyway enough Christian bashing - too easy a target, but I do wonder what rating the CAP Ministry would give the Bible.


Anonymous said...

Holy (Bible) Shit!
That woman has 3 boobs....

xl said...

re pix: "rejoice in the bounty of the LORD" Jeremiah 31:12

Memphis Steve said...

Anyone can call themselves a Christian, but not everyone who claims it actually knows what it means, or cares. Hell, there are organizations claiming to be Christian that long ago were taken over by communists, lesbian separatists, and/or Marxist terrorists. If what they say is inconsistent with the Bible then clearly there is something wrong. Buyer beware.

Anonymous said...

Well said Memphis... :)

word ver: weepinc

definition: What I do when I accidentally poke myself in the eye...

Laura said...

Frightening, eh?
I went to Catholic school for 13 years and don't recognize those two books you quoted from: Zephaniah and Nahum. Just out of curiousity, what version of the bible did you reference? Because apparently I got the pussy one growing up, lacking all the good dath and destruction.