In the news

This and This.

Buggered that I can't find picks of the later either.

What - NZ Beats Us !*&%!#$

Beaten by NZ where it counts - that hurts.

Conversation with a 4 yearold

4 year old: "Dad! I found a worm crawling outside."

Me: "Hold on, I'll get a knife and fork for us."

I get the knife and fork and run outside with him.

4 year old, looking up at me, puzzled expression: "Why didn't you get two plates??"

The Antikythera mechanism (in Lego)

The Antikythera mechanism is a mechanical computer thought to have been built around 150BC or slightly later. It accurately predicts a range of astronomical phenomena such as eclipses. Mechanically it is more than a thousand years ahead of it's time. Which makes me think yet again where would be we technologically today if not for the decent into religious fundamentalism of the dark ages.

Some cleaver bunny has built it out of lego:


(p.s. I'd put $100 bucks on it that it was built by a bloke, a chick would-never be gh33ky enough to do this)

May the 4th be with you

Today is International Star Wars Day - Why did nobody tell me. I feel like a failure as a gh33k not to have know of this.
penance
penance
I shall go home and write some more background around my 2nd level 4E Elf Ranger as penance (Twin Shot - round after round, can't go past rolling damage on a d10 twice every round)

Guess Her Muff hits 1000 posts

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Are thoes the latest edition D&D rule books?

Guess who was driving like a moron

Just enjoying the sunset. When this lass showed up. There always has to be one.

Born in Kenya

Thanks XL

What do you think

Cobbled together by a guy or a girl?

Stripping 101

Or what I remember of it, from so long ago.

Ok. Back in the heady days of uni I worked casually as a stripper. Some time in the middle of the first year I bumped into a girl I knew from first grade at an orgy. Back then she was my first crush and I think the first girl I kissed - Fiona. I recognised her instantly and was more than pleased to find that my auburn head beauty had grown into a ripe, buxom triathlete. It turns out she was working for her X, an older fellow who ran a small ‘entertainment’ company that did parties and a few other similar gigs. It started with a job as a minder, make suer she didn't get into trouble at the various gigs mostly bucks, and birthday parties. I pressed the button on the cassette and helped out with some of the more interactive parts. picked up her costume as she shed it and other stuff. Painted happy birthday messages on her butt in mirror writing (so when she sat on the birthday boy it would print on his chest or etc). They were always after ‘talent’, the money was fantastic the tips could be in the hundreds and and I was egged on to do it. What the hell - you only live once so I gave it a go.

The first night was excruciatingly nervous. I’d practiced with Fi for a few hrs that day and gone with one of the other guys to watch him preform and pick up some tips. Fi was coming to help out that first time but later I wold also work alone.

It was an 18th, the birthday girl had no idea.

We arrive - a nice house in Warrawee at the top of a long dark drive on a stinking hot summer night. Nock on the door - to delighted squeals, and step inside. I had on an army type uniform, black leather boots big belt, black beret and a truncheon. God I was full of myself but the girls liked it and it was their dollar. Ask some questions: all the way, not all the way, touch the girl explicitly, not touch etc. Her friends wanted ‘everything’. The girls father was there and we had a brief chat - he was all - she’s 18, she can do what she likes.

We moved out the back onto the porch, most of the party was on part of the tennis court and Fi started the music and I kind of started moving through the crowd, 20 or so, mostly girls, pretending to look for the birthday girl, lingering a hand on a butt here or a tummy their and getting very felt up myself. Spinning on my heals I grabbed birthday girls hand and motioned for her to come hither and slowly dragged her out to the front.

Fiona - also dressed in the faux army gear “arrested” me and charged me with not having a sufficient erection and instructed the party girl to search me all over. Much to the delight of her friends she slowly started feeling bits of me and Fiona instructed her to remove my shirt, hat (out cam the long hair) and finally feeling down my pants. As I was deemed to still not have a sufficient erection Fiona martialed some of the girls to come up and see what they cold do to rectify the situation. At one point she leaned in close and whispered to me “wana see some high school tit?” and started trying to ‘seduce’ me and flashed me then got some of the girls to do the same. Alcohol and the vibe had several of the girls suddenly rubbing themselves up and down and flashing me here and there. Fiona then got the girls to start chanting ‘get it out - get it out’ and got the party girl to get down on her hands and knees and undo my fly and fish me out of my pants. Squeals etc.

I was then released and feigned embarrassment and held my berate over myself. Fiona then blindfolded the birthday girl whilst she was still on her knees. I stood close to her and flashed her a few times then squirted a dob of canned whipped cream on the end of my cock and Fi pulled the blind down over her eyes. I then instructed her to come forward, she shuffled forward on her knees and I stepped back. Fi slipper the blind up so she could see me right in front of her face and motioned for her to open her moth and move her tong around. Squeals from the crowd. Blind pushed back down. Shuffles forward. We then quickly grabbed a random girl from the crowd with pants on I bend down and undid her fly, slipped a plastic dildo with a clip on it over her undies, wiped a bit of the cream on the end and rushed her into position in front of her friend. Meanwhile Fi was holding the blind down. The girls are screaming ‘closer,’ ‘wider’. I gave the girl now standing in my place a little shove and just as the dildo went in birthday girls mouth Fi ripped off her blindfold. More screaming.

Change of music, quick wipe down and start to dance (badly). My pants were velcro - at some point I ripped them off so I was standing there in my thong and boots. Unclip the thong and ta dah....

Music fades

gather belongings

Pose naked for photos with the birthday girl and a few others, get generally molested. put on my dressing gown and go home with a very big buzz. Generous tips.

Most nights we worked were more or less the same. Batman and Robin costume, a priests outfit, jungle / safari gear, you get the drift.,

Hens nights I earned more but the girls were uniformly fat and unattractive and never failed to proposition me. Parties, particularly for mid 20 somethings were more fun but the tips were never as good. Parents at younger parties never seamed to mind but we toned it down for the 18ths. If the girls were drinking it was usually really fun, but if the birthday girl was not into it it would go flat fast. Given that most of the act was interactive and involved the guests in some way that was kind of embarrassing. They always wanted to see you erect, always. Gay crowds were the most fun tho. We would swap in Fi for me to get the boys wooping and cheering and Fi would usually work naked too. We did many many more nights where I stripped than her tho’ which was strange but hay, just meant I earned 60% of the takings. You could clear $200 bucks a show for an hrs work.

Pie

I like pie.
I like chicken pie with roast chicken, peas and other goodness.
I like steak and read wine pie.
I like steak and mushroom pie (with onion and tomato rings under the lid).
I like steak and kidney pie.

A good pie has chunks of meat and thick gravy, lots of herbs and mmmmm. The crust is thick enough not to go soggy and firm enough to hold together when you've eaten half of it. The gravy should be thick enough to not slop out when you cut it. No gristle please, no hoof just good homely chunky meat.


What a pie is not:

Vegetarian: might be a pastie but it aint a pie.

A pie is not mince, sorry 'munce': You Kiwis can take you soupy bolognese and carrot chunks but if you want to be taken for anything more than sheep shagging wannabes learn yourselves ow to make a decent pie.

And you - our cousins across the big pond, still in the dark ages with respect to measurement. How do you evah expect to be taken seriously when your very definition of self - As American as WHAT???? is a traversty. Take note please: It is not sprinkled with sugar, it does not contain fruit, corn syrup, custard etc.

Those are deserts, pastries perhaps but stretch the definition of pie into the absurd.

MLP on the other hand can feel free to convince me otherwise.

The international year of astronomy.

The further we have looked the more alone we find we are.

Lost & Found

Lost: abbs - last seen circa 1995 in Manning Bar Sydney Uni



Found - Double chin - free to a good home.

How Aussie can you get?

Australia, under our last leader took a strong stance on 'boat people', economic migrants and refugees who attempt the dangerous sea crossing from Asia to Australia in barely seaworthy craft. We have locked these people away in island detention centers or out in the deserts. Labeled them 'queue jumpers', devastated their lives and chit chatted about their predicament on talk back radio for years. These two guys however deserve admiration and respect - what could be more Aussie than sailing here - in an esky.

Eccentrica Gallumbits

Doing a totally unrelated search I came across a page from Christian Analysis of American Culture (CAP Ministry) which seeks to protect our eternal selves from damnation by rating movies from a christian perspective.., in this case the movie version of Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers Guide. Why not, I mean any tranche of society which upholds the murder of the Canaanite king with a tent peg through the head as fitting (Judges 4:17-24), takes it's moral code from Deuteronomy "Put the entire town to the torch as a burnt offering to the LORD your God." (Dut 13 11-ish) and casually teaches its kids that it was just of God to kill all the children of Egypt should have a rather interesting take on what is acceptable family viewing.

Follow the link, now scroll down

On the right of the page is a little histogram showing how the film rates and below that is some examples of the films imorality: I note their first complaint is the destruction of the world.... Why is this a problem - Don;t Christians universally pray for the second coming - the rapture. Have they not actually read revelations?

The next few points focus on other acts of violence, WTF!?!?!, here's the results of a 30 second exploration of an online bible:

"I will sweep away everything in all your land," says the LORD. "I will sweep away both people and animals alike. Even the birds of the air and the fish in the sea will die. I will reduce the wicked to heaps of rubble, along with the rest of humanity," says the LORD. "I will crush Judah and Jerusalem with my fist and destroy every last trace of their Baal worship. I will put an end to all the idolatrous priests, so that even the memory of them will disappear. For they go up to their roofs and bow to the sun, moon, and stars. They claim to follow the LORD, but then they worship Molech, too. So now I will destroy them! And I will destroy those who used to worship me but now no longer do. They no longer ask for the LORD's guidance or seek my blessings." (Zephaniah 1:2-6 NLT)

At his command the oceans and rivers dry up, the lush pastures of Bashan and Carmel fade, and the green forests of Lebanon wilt. In his presence the mountains quake, and the hills melt away; the earth trembles, and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before his fierce anger? Who can survive his burning fury?(Nahum 1:2-8 NLT)

Clearly no earth destroying violence there.

CAP Ministry score a ZERO - see me after class for not paying attention on 'Immorality' - They take issue with a woman in a towel but I see no mention of Eccentrica Gallumbits the the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six. Were they too busy enjoying the buy two get one free deal???

Anyway enough Christian bashing - too easy a target, but I do wonder what rating the CAP Ministry would give the Bible.

Anyone care for a swim ?

The water's a bit nippy tho

edit:
and this

and another

Razorback

A woman has reported a huge pig on her property near Murwillumbah.
Could it be?

Pale blue dot

In 1990 Carl Sagan had the NASA engineers turn Voyager 1 around to take a photo of Earth. At the time Voyager was beyond the orbit of Pluto; 6.4 billion kilometers. Having traveled past Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune the spacecraft was, as it is now, on its way to the stars. From this distance Earth is distant pinprick of light very close to the sun almost invisible in the sunlight reflecting from the spacecraft. The stripes are a flare artifact in the lens. The Earth is the little dot, slightly less than half way up on the right, in this picture it resolves to something smaller than a single pixel. Earth is just one of 7 other planets orbiting a very average star in a very average galaxy composed of around 4 billion other stars.

From this distant vantage point the Earth might not seem of any particular interest. But for us it's different. Consider again that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader", every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.

- Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot, 1994

Childcare is doing a theme this month - space.
They've asked me to come along and talk about space. What do I tell a bunch of 4 year old's about space, hmmm;
- free energy of a vacuum? - too obvious,
- The Hertzsprung-Russell diagram? - doubly so,
- Recent observations backing up some of the more obscure predictions of Relativity? - not general enough.

Nah, they're all into robots, rockets and planets. So I'm taking along my Mars rover (shoe box with a picture stuck on either side) and a scale model of the solar system from plasticine and card. Yup - I just built the Solar system.

And now I need a rest.