Monday, November 10, 2008

I think you can call it a dress

I completely understand if you think this is wanton fabrication, but more on fabric in a mo.

I have two new gym instructors. For the most part the gym sessions I can get to are the lunchtime matinée; traditionally taught at the uni by one of a pair of grandmothers and subscribed by the usual crowd of librarians, a few students, and moi.

One of the grandmothers retired and her spin (bike) and pump (weights) classes have been distributed to a pair of, um, talented and enthusiastic young women.

Waifs they are not. These are buxom gym wenches in sprayed on lycra. Neither is beautiful but they have a fun presence that tips the needle way into the "I'm a gym instructor" end of the hotness scale.

This morning I bumped into (almost literally) one of them (the slimmer redhead who takes spin) in a "dress" getting out of her car and walking into the staff entrance of the gym. Now, either my childhood fantasy of owning x-ray glasses has somehow come to fruition or she was wearing a cling film wrap with _nothing_ underneath but for a healthy patina of freckles. _nothing_

I was less than 2m from her whilst she walked around her car to get her bag and a few bits and pieces. She saw me, held eye contact, smiled and asked if I would be in the class today.

I was a bit slow to answer in the affirmative. In absolutely no way did she seam to give a damn that I now know exactly what piercings she has.

Meanwhile, blogger is still pulling my chain:


Cat said...


fingers said...

See, my childhood fantasy was grandmothers in cellophane dresses...

Bo Bo said... childhood fantasy is Fingers wrapped up in cellophane....

fingers said...

So, it's a current fantasy obviously...

xl said...

"Wanton fabrication" I believe the granny part.

"nanspads" anagram = "sand naps"

word: liteduc quack!

LauraDanielleDotN said...


Share share share.

I love freckles, by the way. Why are you posting pictures of word verifications when you could be posting pictures of cellophane clothing? Oh, because it would make you and all of us perverts. Right.


unique_stephen said...

Cat > I presume your laughing ath the pre-menopausal Nana?

Fingers BoBo Fingers > When you too old ladies have quite finished.... suddenly I have this running through my head.

XL > 'anagram' anagrams to 'An am rag.' - oh for an extra to 'n's

LauraDanielleDotN > a big ring through the boob - like through the areola and kind of standing away from the body. A belly button piercing and a little clear plastic fluorescent yellow ball peeking out at the base of her landing strip. There may have been more but she was way too modestly dressed to see

unique_stephen said...

stop press:
back from her class at the gym.
I was frigging around with my heart rate monitor watch thing and she says to me - What's up old man - something got your heart rate up?
After class I asked her (teaches pet - I can get away with that) so...? and with an absolutely straight face she said "yeah, this is just my day job"...
I didn't ask.

kimba said...

umm.. a landing strip piercing.. and the colour of the landing strip piercing..?

how in the holy bejeezus did you see the colour of the landing strip piercing?
and now that I think of it.. how do you know it's a landing strip??????

(my word - droold - I - shit - ye - not)

Bo Bo said...

No when I was a child I pictured the elderly to look pretty much like you Fingers ;)

unique_stephen said...

Kimba > she was 'wearing' a 'dress' made from see through clear plastic. Pretty tight, like a stretchy PVC but clear. Sort of a demure little tight black dress style but without the black or the demure. It had white material trim with black stitching strengthening the edges and a big oval hole cut out of the back.
She has on clear plastic high heals and a clear swatch. I assume she works as a pro or a dancer in a club or sumkin similar.

BoBO > on a speed boat?

the projectivist said...

all these pregnant pauses, held eye-contact and double entendres!

clear plastic high heels? man alive she sounds classy!!!!

cat & mouse.
you're the mouse.

(the word verification gods let me down, all i get today is: redin)

Anonymous said...

Maybe she's doing a heavy duty weight loss thing? Wrapping oneself in plastic and working out was THE way to melt those pounds back in the 80's.

Eostre said...

Ho. Ly. Redhead you say? Freckled? Pierced? Well.

Where did you say your gym was again?

My word? bescoma

In context, it was the bescoma ever!

unique_stephen said...

projectivist > not playing, but happy to perve.

Kate > She's good perve value and has a cracker sense of humour. She must do heaps of gym as she's really fit but not skinny - sort of a built up Jennifer Jason Leigh with red hair. I think she was in a hurry to get to a class and had driven around the back of the gym. You wouldn't normally expect to find some one where I was cept I was taking a longish short cut. I was a daggy teenager in the 80's - didn't need to worry about weight loss fads.

Eostre > at work

Anonymous said...

Your description of her sounds like one of those kona head lures that my dad uses.. clear.. plastic.. red hair.. flourescent beads.. translucent.. pierced.. strips.. with specks.. slim lined.. and works best at night? i thought they worked best during the day..

if you took her out on the boat you could catch her yellow tailed jack..

:-) love Tiff

Em said...

Wow, so I guess that made your day.

Memphis Steve said...

Some people are just less shy than others.

Bo Bo said...

On a scooter

Laura said...

Stripper. Stripper. Stripper. I love it.

unique_stephen said...

Aphrodite's Friend > She may be fishing but I'm just happy to sit at watch this one. I'm not much of a fisherman

Em > could yet make my whole week.

Memphis > I initially incorrectly read your comment to be: "Some people are just less shy than otters", which would be hard because otters are very shy.

Bo Bo > like this?

Laura > I suspect she goes a bit further

Bo Bo said...

Thats the one.

Memphis Steve said...

I'll bet an otter would be an excellent pole dancer.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Steve! I'm a Pole and I can dance! (cha cha, cha cha)

Go for it pal. I missed so many opportunities in my younger because I wuz shy. Lose yer inhibitions and get rampant crabs on the cock! It's soooooo. worth it as long as you tell us in gory detail about yer exploits with her!

'Fnnaaaar fnnaaaar!

Anonymous said...

I've added you. Is this an insult or a compliment? You say!

Mark Lawrence said...

There is a gym right down the corridor of the front door of my work, and I've never – never – seen anything remotely as interesting or stimulating as this.

Never. Remotely.

Must be something in the water in Sydney.

Like Aphrodite's Friend's fishing lure, maybe?

My word? lyperent.

Like landlords lie to keep jacking up their rents?